Sometimes I Wake Up Crying
by NPD18
Summary: Lilly's phone is disconnected. She won't answer her front door. Has something happened or is Scotty just being paranoid? Work In Progress, third chapter coming soon. LS, of course.
1. Chapter 1

**Sometimes I Wake Up Crying**

**A/N: **First ever Cold Case fic. WiP and I promise I'll finish it. I haven't seen season 3, so I'm sorry if some of it isn't correct to that. I don't have a beta so sorry for mistakes. Constructive criticism always welcomed, just don't go overboard.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Cold Case, or any of the characters etc.

-

**CHAPTER 1: sometimes I don't wake up at all**

Lilly's mind spiralled into confusion as she was pulled out of unconsciousness by a gloved hand. Before she had a chance to reach for her gun, he was on her, covering her body with his own, grunting into her hair as he pulled at her cotton night-gown. His hands were round her neck. She tried to yell, to hit him – anything. It melted into nothing, all her energy taken up on coughing. Her fists slowly unclenched. She was losing it, and there was nothing she could do. Nothing anyone could do.

The phone rang.

It definitely rang. Didn't it? She could barely remember him leaving; it was one big black hole in her memory. As was his face. Had he been wearing a mask? She expected so, but she honestly couldn't bring her mind to remember it. Closing her eyes, she decided not to think about it anymore. She couldn't. Her mind filled with black, her fingers scratching at her throat before she finally passed out.

-

Hanging up the phone, Scotty pulled himself out of bed. The phone had been disconnected on the third ring, physically pulled out of its socket. And what was that sound just before? However many times he told himself it was one of the cats, or that Lilly just wanted to sleep, he knew something was up. He threw on some clothes – pants and a t-shirt – not really looking at what he was doing. _I'm gonna look like such an idiot when Lilly opens the door. She's not gonna let me live this one down. _Heading out the door, he told himself one last time that she'd be fine.

The drive was short and silent. He didn't dare put the radio on, and the roads were surprisingly empty. It just gave him more time to think. _You're being completely irrational _he told himself, but he couldn't shake the way she'd looked earlier that day. The case had really gotten to her – what if she'd done something stupid. _Lilly isn't like that, she'd never do something like that. _Scotty pulled up outside her place and cut off the engine, sighing. This was crazy; he'd driven all the way over here just because she hadn't answered the phone. Big deal, maybe she didn't feel like talking to him? _She always picks up._

He opened the car door and got out, slamming it behind him and running up the steps to her house. Before he'd left, he'd made sure to bring his gun, which he'd now grabbed from his car's glove compartment and shoved into his pocket. Letting one hand fall onto the cold metal, Scotty used the other to bang on Lilly's door.

No answer.

Thumping harder, he yelled, "Lil, if you're in there, open the door!"

After about half a minute he gave up, walked down the steps and glared up at the window he guessed was her bedroom. The drapes were pulled, the window closed. He ran back up the steps and threw himself at the door, which finally opened. Everything was still, quiet, perfect. Too perfect. Letting out the breath he hadn't even realized he was holding, Scotty moved toward the stairs, "Lil?"

Putting one foot on the first stair, a sound from what he assumed to be the kitchen startled him and he quickly turned around, lifting his gun in the process. A cat strolled gracefully out from the room and he let out a sigh. Just to be sure, he moved over to the kitchen and stuck his head around the door. Everything was undisturbed, as far as he could see, so he returned to the stairs, going up slowly.

On the landing, he took a quick look around. All but one door was closed. The open one, he guessed, was Lilly's bedroom, so he headed for there first. He pushed the door carefully, completely aware that she could just be fast asleep and wouldn't be happy if he came storming in and woke her up. As the door opened, he saw her lying on the bed, eyes closed. Relief went through his body as he went over to her. Then he saw the lamp on the floor by her bed, knocked off her nightstand. His eyes moved to the drop of blood on the carpet next to where his foot was. Ripping back the curtains, he turned to Lilly. She was sprawled out on her bed, one hand limp on her chest, the other dangling off the bed.

She wasn't sleeping.

-

Scotty sat in the waiting room, Jeffries, Vera and Stillman along with some uniforms sipping coffee across from him. His eyes glistened with tears as he stared into space. The doctors were still looking after Lilly. She'd been raped and strangled; it was a miracle that she wasn't dead. Guy must have been interrupted, that's what Vera reckoned, that or he was a beginner to the whole thing and screwed up. Scotty didn't care. The point was, if he hadn't gone over to her house, she would be dead. She still could be for all they knew. Hell, she'd been in the ER long enough. Sighing, he slowly shook his head. _I can't think like that. _

"Are you here with Miss Rush?"

His eyes darted up as a doctor stepped out into the corridor, her hands deep in her lab-coat pockets, "Uh yeah,"

"I'm Dr. Devlin," She smiled slightly, tucking a strand of honey-blonde hair behind her ear, "You all work with Miss Rush, right?"

They nodded, Jeffries looking up from his coffee with weary eyes.

The doctor continued to talk, but most of it went straight over Scotty's head. He wasn't interested in how long it had taken the paramedics to get her breathing, hell he'd been there as they struggled to do so.

"…She's stable now," Dr. Devlin finished with a small smile.

Scotty let out a small sigh of relief. _She's okay; she's going to be okay. _He couldn't help the anger brewing up through him though at the realization that someone had broken something as innocent as Lilly. _She was already broken_ he reminded himself.

"Can I see her?" The words escaped his mouth before he could stop them.

Dr. Devlin nodded slowly, "Usually, we'd only allow family, but under the circumstances… I'll check if she's ready to be seen," Turning her attention to the two uniformed cops sitting next to Jeffries, she sighed, "But I'm afraid questioning is going to have to wait. She's not okay to talk yet,"

**-**

Up until then, Scotty doubted that Lilly's skin could be any paler than it already was. Now, however, he was proven wrong, and it made him want to scream. This bastard had left a huge great gauge down her face, and she had been breathing through a tube up until a half hour ago. _Way to go to remove someone's dignity _he thought bitterly. Her eyes were closed, and although someone had obviously dabbed at her face to clean it, there was still the hint of dried blood around one side. But what really made him want to punch something were the bright purple bruises around her throat where she'd been strangled. He shook his head and folded his arms. _How could someone do this! _

"Scotty…" A voice said from the other side of the room.

His eyes darted over to Jeffries, who was standing by the door. It was only then that he realized he was standing in the middle of the room, not daring to actually go near Lilly.

"I'm just going to leave you alone for a while," Jeffries said, opening the door, "We'll all wait outside,"

Nodding, Scotty sighed, "Okay,"

He looked toward Lilly again. She was awake. Since she hadn't made a sound, he'd just assumed she was asleep, but now her eyes were open, staring at the space above Scotty's head. It occurred to him that he should do something, but he didn't know what. Hell, he didn't even know what to say. It was one thing talking to a victim when you didn't know them, but this was so different. He swallowed hard before walking over to her bed and sitting down on the chair provided. Her eye-line didn't change.

"Hey," Scotty said softly, looking up at her blue eyes which had traded their usual glisten for an eerie dead look, finished off by the fact she was still staring straight ahead.

There was a long moment where neither of them spoke, Scotty looking down at the floor, Lilly still looking at the wall. He wondered if she was asleep with her eyes open, but decided not to even bother testing that theory. Not that he'd know how to. Sighing, he was close to just giving up and sitting back outside, but stopped himself. _If Lilly was being Lilly, she'd probably want me to go… but she's not. She needs someone. _As if reading his thoughts, Lilly slowly looked over at him, coughing a little.

"My cats…" She said quietly, her voice raspy but still recognisable.

**TBC…**


	2. Chapter 2

**Sometimes I Wake Up Crying**

**A/N: **Thanks for the reviews on the last chapter, hopefully this one won't disappoint. It's shorter I'm afraid, but I put just as much effort into it! UK has just started showing season 3 on Sky 3 so I'm sort of catching up. Not that I think it matters, if you just pretend season 3 hasn't happened. Next chapter will take less time to get written, promise.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Cold Case, or any of the characters etc.

-

**CHAPTER 2: sometimes you kiss me goodnight**

It was four days before the hospital even considered discharging Lilly. Scotty tried his best to stay away from her room, each day telling himself she wouldn't want him there, but each day going in anyway. Vera had, all be it awkwardly, agreed to take her cats home since her house was still a crime scene. That act of kindness had surprised Scotty since he was pretty sure Vera felt the same way as he did about pets, but he'd stayed quiet.

He hadn't, however, been able to stay quiet when they were discussing putting her in protective custody.

"It's the only way she's going to be safe…" Stillman said, fetching water from the machine in the office as he did so.

"That's bull and you know it!" Lowering his voice slightly, Scotty's eyes met Stillman's, "I'll take her home with me. I won't take my eyes off her. Please,"

After a long argument, he'd agreed to let Lilly stay at Scotty's, under the conditions that she was happy with the arrangement, and that two cops stayed across the street from his apartment to be sure nothing happened while he slept. Scotty doubted he'd be sleeping at all, but didn't argue with this, knowing she'd be safer with the cops there. Then it was just a case of asking Lilly. Easier said than done, he knew, but since she wasn't being herself, he thought she'd be a little less stubborn than usual.

He was right.

"Okay," Lilly said, after he explained it to her.

Nodding, he continued to drive. His apartment wasn't far from the hospital, so the uncomfortable silence didn't need to last long. Lilly sat awkwardly in the passenger's seat, hands clasped in her lap, eyes staring straight ahead. She'd done that a lot lately. It made his stomach feel strange when he saw her do that. It really wasn't a Lilly thing to do. Then again, she wasn't exactly feeling herself, and he certainly couldn't blame her.

It wasn't until he'd already reached his apartment block and cut off the gas that he realized they hadn't stopped by her apartment to pick anything up or anything. _I'll do it in the morning, _he thought, deciding she could just borrow a t-shirt from him to sleep in or wear what she was wearing now – a black sweater and jeans which Vera had picked up whilst getting the cats. Not that it really mattered. Lilly hadn't slept properly the whole time she was in hospital; the nurses had had to sedate her so that she could get some rest. Scotty had to remind himself that they were talking about the same person. It just didn't sink in. She was so tough, yet here she was too scared to even close her eyes.

Unhooking his seatbelt, Scotty sat for a moment before getting out of the car. Lilly didn't move. He went round to her side, and opened the door, and although she turned in her seat, she made no move to exit the car. Sighing, he looked down at her. Strands of blonde hair had come loose from the ponytail a nurse had fixed for her, and Scotty had to stop himself from tucking them in for her. He knew better than to touch her at the moment – he'd lightly brushed her arm when getting her into the car earlier and she'd freaked. That had been the moment he truly realized she wasn't Lilly anymore. And they were no closer to finding out who it was who'd made her that way.

"Lil, you need to get out of the car,"

She still didn't move, answering him only with a: "Mmm?"

It was better than nothing.

-

Finally inside, Lilly stood in the middle of the lounge area. It was typically masculine – black leather couch, glass coffee table complete with an empty pizza box, and a huge widescreen TV was the center point of the room. She could imagine Scotty sitting there watching the baseball, beer in hand. Any other time, she would have teased him about it, but not now. Hugging herself, she turned to look at him, "Where am I sleeping?"

He was glad to finally hear her speak and actually sound like herself. Dropping his keys on the counter, Scotty went over to Lilly, giving her a smile, "You can sleep in my room. I'll sleep on the couch,"

There was silence for a long moment whilst Lilly stared at Scotty, a slightly confused look on her face.

"Can I stay here with you for a while?" She eventually asked, looking up at him with tired eyes.

He nodded and sat down. After a moment she joined him, sitting herself right up at the other end of the couch so that there was a big space between them. To be honest, he couldn't blame her. She wasn't feeling safe around anyone, but it made him feel just the slight bit hurt that she couldn't even trust _him_. Looking over at her, he didn't even realize he was staring until she turned around and gave him an odd look.

"Uh… you want to watch TV?" Scotty asked, picking up the remote.

Lilly shrugged, "Okay,"

Turning the TV on, Scotty leant back on the coach, deciding not to put his feet up on the coffee table as he usually did. The screen showed Sky Sports and he quickly changed channel, muttering: "Oh you don't want that," to which there was no reply, even when he changed it to HBO and asked Lilly if she knew what this show was. He turned to look at her and realized she was fast asleep, her head resting on the arm of the chair. She looked more peaceful than she had been in a long time and he was reluctant to disturb her but since his bedroom didn't have windows that opened, she'd be safer there. Quietly turning off the television, he stood up and walked around the coffee table to the other side of the couch. Then he lifted her into his arms, letting her head rest on his shoulder as he took her into the bedroom and put her down gently on the bed. Luckily, she didn't wake and he carefully picked up the covers and laid them over her.

For a moment he just stood there with the light on, watching her sleep. Content that Lilly was okay, Scotty went over to her and kissed her forehead before exiting the room, leaving the door slightly open so he could easily check on her. Inside the lounge, he turned the TV on, the volume right down.

There was no way he was going to be sleeping that night.

**TBC…**


End file.
